Quack Head Jokes

What did the duck do after he lost his wife, his job, and his house?

He became a quack head

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What do you call a duck that's a drug addict?

A quack-head.

Why did the duck go into Rehab?

Because he was a quack head

What do you call a duck that does drugs?

A quack head!

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

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What do you call a drug addict that's allergic to heroin?

Cracktose Intolerant

How do you know when you are a drug addict?

when you realize that you have had 2 strepsils within one hour.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?

A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car His windshield was quacked.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs driving a car?

Rex (made this one up myself!)

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How did Mr Cheese paint his wife?

He Double Gloucester.

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

Addict Jokes More Addict Jokes

What did the drug test say to the addict?

URINE TROUBLE!"

What do you call someone addicted to both crack and weed?

A rockin' roller.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

Jack

Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head?

From a distance they look like hares!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

What do you do if you lose all the information on your computer?

Ask the NSA for a backup.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

The car and the bus both have wheels.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What do you call a lizard on drugs?

A mariguana.

How does a hipster measure out his drugs?

Using instagrams.