Rudolph Jokes

Why did the kids not receive presents for Christmas?

Because Rudolph intentionally grounded the team...

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What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

What was Rudolph's nickname?

Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names. Credit to my dad.

What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden?

Rudolph's red hose rain gear...

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

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What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

GINGER.

Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points?

Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number.

Name Jokes More Name Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?

Names

Why don't you try calling them names too?

Steve: "I can't, they're so beautiful"

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What did Santa say at the brothel?

Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

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What do books wear on a rainy day?

Rain Quotes

What do you call it when someone makes a slam-dunk wearing shiny handcuffs?

Boom-shackle-lacquer!

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)

What did the diva with Alzheimer's disease say?

credit to one of the writers from Bob's Burgers).

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is Soulja Boy's favorite type of Christmas song??

YUUUUUUUUUULLLEEE!!!!!!!!!

How did the chickens dance at the Christmas party ?

Chick to chick !

Present Jokes More Present Jokes

Why didn't Santa give presents to any world leaders?

Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty

How could you possibly know?

Darth Vader: I felt your presents.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

What's the difference between a bad haircut and a good haircut?

About two weeks.