Sea Lion Jokes

How do seals keep their coats so smooth?

They use a sea lion.

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How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

How do you make a Sea Lion?

You remove an electron from a Seal!

Who is a Sea Lion's favorite composer?

Orff Orff Orff Orff!"

What is the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

an electron

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

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Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

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How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

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What did one atom say to the other?

I lost an electron..." The other atom asks "Are you sure " First atom replies, "I'm positive!"

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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How do you call a black guy that uses testosterone boosters?

Testostyrone.

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

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What do T-Rex's do for a living?

They're small arms dealers.

What do you call a pair of twins who live together?

Womb-mates"

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What is the difference between a blonde in a church and a blonde in the bath tub?

One has hope in her soul...

What's the difference between a bumble bee and someone with allergies?

One is a pollinator. The other is a pollen-hater.

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What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

What starts with r and ends with d?

removed

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Why is Mike Pence magic?

He can turn fruits to vegetables

Why did Siegfried and Roy close their bakery?

A batch of Tiger bread turned on them.