Electron Jokes

Which element is most likely to surrender an electron?

Francium.

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What's a homotron?

Just an electron that goes around looking for a fuse to blow!

How do you turn a seal into a sea lion?

Remove an electron.

How many electrons does a negatively charged oxygen atom have?

Nion

How do you make a Sea Lion?

You remove an electron from a Seal!

What's the difference between a seal and a sealion?

An electron

Why did the electron go to jail?

He was charged with battery!

What is the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

an electron

Why was the electron mad?

Well, it doesn't really matter...

What did the nucleus say to get the electron up?

Up and atom!

What did one atom say to the other?

I lost an electron..." The other atom asks "Are you sure " First atom replies, "I'm positive!"

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What did Ronald Reagan say in his presidential campaign?

Electron. Also, what did the Greek warrior say when he saw the wooden horse Hydrogen please spare me

What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date?

Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!

What does electron and proton say when they go to war?

Chaaaarge!!

What does the electron say to the resistor?

Ohm my god you're impeding me. *initiate knee slap

Why didn't the electron leave it's house?

Because it was grounded.

What's the difference between a seal and sea lion?

One electron

What did the atom say when it lost an electron?

I better keep an ion that.

Never take advice from electrons.

They are always negative.

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Jail Jokes More Jail Jokes

What did Jarod from subway get on his first night in jail?

A foot long

Why did the peanut go to jail?

He was a-roasted peanut.

Atom Jokes More Atom Jokes

Why cant you trust an atom?

Because they make up literally everything

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

the guy likes his power chords too much.

Fuel Jokes More Fuel Jokes

What does the train use to fuel it's gaming addiction?

Steam. I'm so sorry.

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?

I'm paw !

What does a monster do when he loses his head?

He calls a head hunter.

Spill Jokes More Spill Jokes

What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

How many Environmentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they will never change a thing.

How many Australians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they all turn them the the wrong way.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the genie turn the man into a toad?

He rubbed him the wrong way.

How difficult is it to live with erectile dysfunction?

It turns out, it's not very hard at all