Second Floor Jokes

Why couldn't the police arrest the robber on the second floor?

Because he took the stairs.

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When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

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Elementary School Jokes More Elementary School Jokes

What do you call a weirdo slowly driving a jeep past an elementary school?

Jeeper creeper!

What's the difference between a meteor and a meteorite?

Ite. Sorry, a kid said this in elementary school and it was funny back then :)

Collapse Jokes More Collapse Jokes

What did the Mexican say when his house collapsed on him?

Hey, get off me homes !

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Divorce Jokes More Divorce Jokes

What do you want for your birthday this year?

Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring.

What's the best part of divorce?

Two Kwanzaas

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why did the police arrest the energizer bunny?

He was wanted for several charges of battery

What would you do?

Two policemen call the station on the radio. "Hello. Is that you Sarge?" "Yes?" "We have a case here. A woman has shot her husband for stepping on the floor she had just mopped clean." "Have you arrested the woman?" "No sir. The floor is still wet.

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

What do you call a snobbish thief walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call an arrogant con walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How do you stop an Ethiopian tank with a gun?

Shoot the people pushing it.

What did the proctologist ask the restaurant goer?

Can I push your stool in?

Hoarder Jokes More Hoarder Jokes

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

When did your parents divorce?

ME: No, they were hoarders, and the second floor collapsed.

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

Why don't you see any transgendered parents?

Because they're trans-parent