Square Root Jokes

Why did the mathematician get an F on his English quiz?

He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."

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What's the square root of 69?

Ate something.

What is the square root of 69?

Ate Something! ("8 something", actually 8.306)

What's the final digit of the square root of 2 (2)?

I don't know, sometimes radicals can be irrational.

How do you say no in German?

Square root of 81

What's the square root of sixty-nine?

What's the square root of sixty-nine? Eight-something!

What do women and the square root of 2 have in common?

They're both irrational.

Why do plants hate math?

Because it gives them square roots

Whats the square (root) of a (onion)???

Shallots

What is the similarity between women and square roots?

If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head.

What's a mathematicians favourite plant?

Any that has a square root!

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How do you teach a girl math?

Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, give her a square root and watch her multiply.

Why is the set including the square root of 5 and the square root of 4 similar to the set including anarchism and authoritarianism?

They are both unlike radicals.

How can you tell you are in a math teacher's garden?

All the trees have square roots.

What's the square root of optimus prime?

I'm not sure, but it's more than meets the eye.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the difference between a dog barking at the front door and a woman screaming at the back door?

If you let the dog in, it will shut up.

What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of?

misogynistic.

69 Jokes More 69 Jokes

What's the hardest number to say?

70 because after 69 your mouth's full.

Why Cant Girls Count To 70?

Because 69 is a mouthful

Add Jokes More Add Jokes

What does batman like adding to his drinks?

JUST-ICE

How do you make the number one disappear?

Add the letter G and it’s “gone”!

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

What did Walter White teach?

Advanced methematics.

What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart?

A tutor.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations?

Because of the overflow errors!

Which people do the burgers hate?

The ones who are always putting the bite on them!

English Jokes More English Jokes

How is a Mexican like a cue ball?

The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get out of them.

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

16 Jokes More 16 Jokes

What is the similarity between women and square roots?

If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head.

What superhero consists of only 16 atoms?

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATMAN!!

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Why does she keep cleaning the floors?

Me: Her stepsisters make her. 5: She should just buy a Roomba.

How many bassoonists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one but they'll insist on going through about 5 bulbs before they find one that suits this particular room and situation.