Time Machine Jokes

What do you call a Time Machine that can only travel to one location in time?

The RE-tardis

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

Why do time machines make you happy?

They're an anti de-present.

What do we want now!?

When do we want 'em? Time machines!

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Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

Why's the little boy scarred for life after going to buy his mom some earrings?

He went to Jared.

What do your mom and the Baltimore Police have in common?

They both like giving nickel rides to black men!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

Why did the surgeon refuse to dress for work?

He didn't want no scrubs

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

What's the hardest part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

What is hillybillys fantasy?

S&ampM . . . . .. Sister and Mother.

What should I give your sister for unzipping?

Him : Um, ten bucks? Me : Like for WinZip. PS: Taken from bash.org

Them Jokes More Them Jokes

How is a Mexican like a cue ball?

The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get out of them.

Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?

Church " "K let's make 'em like that" -- funeral home designers

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it?

A denom-nom-nominator!

Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

What religion do mosquitoes follow?

Muslim, because they go to a mosque...ito. Sorry.

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.