Vet Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out.

What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

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How do I do that?

he asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

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Vietnam Vet Jokes More Vietnam Vet Jokes

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a lightbulb?

YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN! YOU WEREN'T THERE!

How many Vietnam vets does it take to change a light bulb?

You don't know cause you weren't there

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a cat that torrents movies?

A copy cat.

What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?

A purrfect meal !

Tech Jokes More Tech Jokes

What's the most surprising advancement in tech?

Headphone jacks are obsolete.

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal lives on the farm and says "moo"?

A bilingual chicken

What animal has more lives than a cat?

A frog. It croaks every night.

German Jokes More German Jokes

How can you tell when a German is joking?

Don't worry, he will inform you after delivery of the punchline has taken place. Just a joke!

What's green and german?

Snotzis.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

What does Gwen Stefani say when it rains a lot in California?

No Drought.**

What do freezing rain and cake icing have in common?

Both are a glaze

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How to make Holy Water Friend: Hey, how do you make Holy Water?

Me: Uhh...Let me think... Why Friend: You boil the hell out of it! Me: Get out.

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Injection Jokes More Injection Jokes

What's the newest fitness craze sweeping American police forces?

Lead injections.

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.