Vet Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder go to the vet?

Because his pythons were sick

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What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

What do you call the tech. at the vets who has to give injections to cats?

Claude.

Why did the dog go to the vets?

He was pawly. I'm sorry. I'll see myself out.

What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

What does a dog get at the vet?

FIXED

Why Chinese vet never hungry?

Dog have rice.

Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?

There were too many vets.

What did the vet say to the dog he just castrated?

No hard feelings.

How do you know your dog's cancer is really bad?

If the vet says it's mutt-astasized.

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How do I do that?

he asked. "Carefully" replied the vet.

Why are we at the vet?

Me: So our pig can't have babies 6: How do you know she doesn't want babies Me:*looks at my kids* Just a hunch

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What's a german's favourite number?

Nein

What do a WW2 German Soldier and an Animal Doctor have in common?

They're both Veteran-Arians (wah wah)

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What is another word for a python ?

A mega-bite !

Why did the python do national service ?

He was coiled up !

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What does it mean to be an Agnostic with insomnia and dyslexia?

You stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What dog would you want on your American football team?

A golden receiver!

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What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform?

So the Marine have something to hold on to.

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Why does rain make people sad?

Because they're in a depression.

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

Castrate Jokes More Castrate Jokes

How do you castrate a redneck?

Kick his sister's jaw in.

What did the dog say to the vet that just castrated him?

No hard feelings.

Chevy Jokes More Chevy Jokes

What do 7 million Chevy's have in common?

I don't recall.

What do you call a retired Marine in a Chevy sports car?

A Corps vet in a Corvette.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What's a Chinese chicken's favorite vegetable?

Buock choi

What do you call a Chinese Podiatrist?

Hee Lan To