Marine Jokes

Why is there a flap on the back of the Navy uniform?

So the Marine have something to hold on to.

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Why do the Marines call it Parris island?

Because they like to play with each other's oui oui.

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.

What do the woman from southern California and the clouds over the Pacific coast have in commen?

They're both Marine layers

How many Marines does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four, one to change it and three to comment on the changing.

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

What happened to the Marine that took a laxative?

He was relieved of doodie.

Why are marines who can't swim better?

They defend the ship with way more enthusiasm.

How do you know that one of them is a Marine?

Don't worry he'll let you know

What do you call a retired Marine in a Chevy sports car?

A Corps vet in a Corvette.

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

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What do you call a US Marine with an IQ of 70?

General

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

What do you call a marine with an IQ of 70?

General

Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships?

Because sheep would be too obvious.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

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Pacific Jokes More Pacific Jokes

What did the Atlantic say to the Pacific?

Nothing. It just waved.

What do the woman from southern California and the clouds over the Pacific coast have in commen?

They're both Marine layers

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

How do you get two whales in a car?

Start in England and drive West.

Why did the whale like the diver?

Because he had flippers!

Cloud Jokes More Cloud Jokes

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones sing "Hey You! Get off of my cloud!" A Scotsman shouts "Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"

Why aren't Japanese optimistic?

Because not every cloud has a silver lining

Lack Jokes More Lack Jokes

Why are all lesbians ill?

They lack vitamin D

Why is Man Utd's chemistry lacking?

Because they are held together by weak van den Gaal's forces.

Scientist Jokes More Scientist Jokes

Why do scientists call Helium , Barium and Curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium , You'd Barium!

Why hasn't a phone that charges itself just by scrolling the screen ever been invented?

What are our scientists doing

Marine Biologist Jokes More Marine Biologist Jokes

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?

A marine biologist.

Biologist Jokes More Biologist Jokes

What did you think of the chapter on frogs?

Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.

What did the Marine Biologist say when he saw two eels making love?

It's a Moray."

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

What happens if you put a mirror in a garage?

A mirage!