Wild Jokes

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

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How do you tell a domesticated cat from a wild one?

The domesticated doesnt have balls

What do you get if you cross Snoop Dogg with a hippo?

A smokesalottapotamus.

How do you spot a cheetah in the wild?

You don't, they're already spotted!

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How do you make a cat go "Woof!"?

Soak it in petrol and put a match to it. (This is a joke, not and instruction, Reddit)

What do you call a joke that makes fun of a woman, who has not consented to be made fun of?

misogynistic.

2 Inch Jokes More 2 Inch Jokes

What is 4 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women crazy when they see it?

An empty toilet paper roll.

What is 6 inches long 2 inches wide and makes a woman crazy?

100 bill.

Stern Rebuke Jokes More Stern Rebuke Jokes

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?

A stern rebuke from the Ethics Committee, and an immediate cessation of funding.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?

Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.

Release Jokes More Release Jokes

How do you get people to pirate an album?

Release it on TIDAL

What's the final product Steve Jobs released?

The iDied

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

How'd you get the scratches?

flash back to me bathing my cat* -Uh, this chick bro. Yeah.

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why did the leper crash his car?

He left his foot on the accelerator.

Why did the chicken get run over by a car as it was crossing the road?

To get to the Other side

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters

Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

Cunning Runt Jokes More Cunning Runt Jokes

What's the difference between a women's track team and a group of midgets playing chess?

The latter is a group of cunning runts.

What is the difference between a pack of pygmies and a girls track team?

The pack of pygmies is a bunch of cunning runts.