Zombie Apocalypse Jokes

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

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Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.

What'd be worse?

Zombie apocalypse or Facebook shutting down and 500 million retards all of sudden using twitter

What do you call a disabled person during a zombie apocalypse?

Meals on wheels...

Why is a sorority the safest place to be during a zombie apocalypse?

Because they're looking for braaaaaaaaaains

What does a gamer call the zombie apocalypse?

The end of DayZ

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When the zombies want Twisties! take a look on this zombies viral video, serious feedback please :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=vdRiMBPbQ8

How do zombies communicate in times of war?

Cryptic code.

Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

Where is the best place to hide a body?

Buried in the third page of google search results.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

Radio Shack Jokes More Radio Shack Jokes

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.

Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.

Safe Place Jokes More Safe Place Jokes

Where's the safest place to hide money from a man?

Under the soap

What's the safest place to be during a North Korean missile strike?

A: The place they are aiming at.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

What do you call a blond skeleton in the closet?

The winner of hide and seek.

What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

Meal Jokes More Meal Jokes

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

What do you get if you dont finish your meal at a cannibalistic restaurant?

A bodybag

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell when an accountant is extroverted?

He looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own.

What did the blonde say when she looked down at her bowl of Cheerios?

Look, donut seeds!