What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What did the guy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer.

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

Why could Jimmy not drive a tractor?

Because he had no arms or legs. Why Because he is a potato.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a thief and a church bell?

One steals from the people the other peals from the steeple.

Whats the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

When I drop a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around for a week.

Egg Jokes More Egg Jokes

How do rhinos like their eggs?

Poached.

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

What do you call the ghost of a chicken?

A poultry-geist.

What did the chicken say before it crossed the road?

I'll be Ba Ba Ba Baaach!

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why was the computer stressed out when it got home from work?

Cause it had a hard drive.

Why do midgets make bad parents?

Cause they struggle to put food on the table

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing?

A buccaneer.

Who's concerts cost only 45 cents to attend?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

Alarm Jokes More Alarm Jokes

How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for?

Pound an alarm

How do alien hunters keep from oversleeping?

They SETI their alarm-y

Scare Jokes More Scare Jokes

What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently?

Americas already got two running for president.

How do you scare a man?

Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice.