Why did the man drowning in the river t...

Why so long face?

Latvian say, "I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby."

What's Justin Bieber's favorite make of car?

Voltz-swaggin. I thought of this myself and I am so, so sorry.

What did the empty beer bottle say to the other beer bottle?

I'm just not hoppy anymore man

A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.' 'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?' 'Twelve thirty.'

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Why did my husband die?

Doctor responds: "Heavy drug use, ma'am" Widow: "But doctor, my husband didn't use drugs!" Doctor: "I know, but I did"

Where do bacteria go when they die?

St. Petri Dish.

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Why did the hipster decide to drown himself in the tributary?

He didn't want to be mainstream.

How did the hipster die?

He drowned in the mainstream because he stood on it before it was cool.

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Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.