2000 Jokes

What do you call 2000 mockingbirds?

Two kilomockingbirds (credit goes to my old physics book)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ?

They were Holo-costly

What does modern horror films and the 2000 presidential election have in common?

It's Al Gore

Why has Stonehenge been there since 2000 BC?

because it's stoned.

How do you move a 2000 lb dinosaur?

Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

they only had one pickup

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

What has 2000 eyes and 4000 feet?

A thousand dogs.

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

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Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Who would still buy a Note 7 after all the controversy?

A Muslim

What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

starbucks

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why can't the homeless ever get by in America?

because there's no chaaaannggggeeeee

Why aren't eagles allowed to be sick in america?

Because that would be illeagle

Pickup Jokes More Pickup Jokes

How do you pickup chicks in Auschwitz ?

With a dustpan..

Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?

they only had one pickup

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?

A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

Why don't you ever see any Muslim methheads?

They all just get stoned instead.

Ebay Jokes More Ebay Jokes

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay?

One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.

Teen Spirit Jokes More Teen Spirit Jokes

How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's?

It smells like teen spirit.

What did Nirvana say when they drove past a burning school bus?

Smells Like Teen Spirits"

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What did number 2 say to number 1?

you're an odd fellow

How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?

Just 1...blondes will screw anything.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Which is easier for a man to leave: the women or the Wine?

A: It depends on the age.

Where do most Mustangs get into car accidents at?

Leaving Mustang meets.