Daily Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

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Benefit Jokes More Benefit Jokes

What's the difference between 50 Cent and the Ozone Layer?

The Ozone layer doesn't benefit from having holes in them.

What does the south call friends with benefits?

Cousins.....

Fiber Jokes More Fiber Jokes

Why is gigabit internet good for you?

Because it's high in fiber! haha, I'll show myself out...

How does a mathematician solve constipation?

Pro biotics and a healthy amount of fiber.

Journalist Jokes More Journalist Jokes

What do you call a journalist in Russia?

An ambulance.

How many journalists does it take to change a light bulb?

We just report the facts we don't change them."

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How does a witch make scrambled eggs?

She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.

What's the difference between a fraternity and a gang?

Gangs don't have to pay for friends.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did they call the man who knew how to read maps?

A legend

Why did the blind driver have no hands?

He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour

Breastfeed Jokes More Breastfeed Jokes

What did the baby say to its mom after breastfeeding?

Thanks for the mammaries!

What is Britain's most popular newspaper amongst breastfeeding mothers?

The Daily Express.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.

What did you do today?

Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.

Floss Jokes More Floss Jokes

Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?

FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*