Daily Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was .......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

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Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow that can go 3000 feet per second?

A bull-ette.

What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?

Cowboom!

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends?

Because he's married.

What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend?

Frisbae

Grace Jokes More Grace Jokes

What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

Why don't we say Grace?

Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why don't Southern girls engage in orgies?

Too many thank-you notes.

What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self Harmony Edit: #10 on /r/all! And thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

How does Dracula like to have his food served?

In bite-sized pieces.

Why didn't the shrimp share his food?

He was a little shellfish

Recommend Jokes More Recommend Jokes

Why do dentists recommend jpeg?

It is a flossy compression method.

Why do only 99.9% of dentists recommend Listerine?

Because the other .1% is too busy out hunting lions

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Where were you on Friday?

Me: It was a holiday. Boss: HALLOWEEN IS NOT A PAID HOLIDAY! Me: It is if you go as Christmas. Boss:...

What are you called if you are paid to be a thing?

A pro-noun!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Who was the best actor in the bible ?

Samson he brought the house down !

What animal do psychiatrists bring in to mental hospitals to help patients with social anxiety?

Squirrels they're the best at getting nuts out of their shells.