Dead Person Jokes

What do you call a dead person?

Dinner

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5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the best way to pack a dead person in a cardboard box?

Body centered cubic

What's the difference between a viola and a coffin?

With a coffin, the dead person is on the inside.

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What is the best way of stopping infection from witch bites ?

Don't bite any witches !

What is the best way to stop a politician?

A really strong gust of wind.

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What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to repost the joke twice before she realizes that it isn't funny anymore

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Who is there?

A person that likes to tell anti jokes.

What's the funniest part of a boxing joke?

You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...

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What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What happens when you drink food colouring?

You dye a little on the inside.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russell

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

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What happens when a feminist and a sociopath date?

I need a punchline for a joke.....What happens when a feminist and a sociopath date? OK GO!

How do police informants begin their jokes?

Nark Nark

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Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

When someone says something was made with "love" what exactly does that mean?

Did they jerk one off into the center of my cupcake

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What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels

Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

Because he was Russian.