December 25th Jokes

Why isn't the holiday on December 25th pronounced "Chlistmas"?

Because there's no L.

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What happens to all the unsold christmas trees?

A Total TreeCull. Basically, on the evening of December 25th, every christmas tree salesperson does the trees

What does a gang say on December 25th?

Merry Crips-mas

Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas.

What did the ghost say on December 25th?

A: Scary Christmas!

What do white girls celebrate on December 25th?

ChristMAAAAAAAAAS

What did the strawberry say on December 25th?

Berry Christmas!

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Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

Why is it so hard to pronounce words in Welsh?

It is the language of Wales.

What's the proper way to pronounce Mormon?

The second m is silent.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

What do ghosts do when they're sad?

They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.

How do you date a ghost?

You 'WOOOO' him!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

What did the disappointed smoker get for Christmas?

Clothes but no cigar...

Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you do if a gang of clowns attack you?

Go for the juggler.

What do you call a gang of penguins?

A ganguin

Kim Jong Il Jokes More Kim Jong Il Jokes

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

How did Kim Jong-Il begin his audio autobiography?

Dear Reader"

Celebrate Jokes More Celebrate Jokes

How do Ethiopian parents celebrate their child's first birthday?

By putting flowers on its grave.

How do you celebrate Christopher Columbus day?

Barge into your neighbor's home and claim it as yours.

L. Jokes More L. Jokes

How do you know the Alphabet is celebrating Christmas?

When there is no "L" ("Noel")

Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match?

The person who shouted "Give me an L!"

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

What Happened to the Man who Threw a Flaming Bag of Poo?

He got turd degree burns.