Ex Girlfriend Jokes

How do you pick up my ex girlfriend?

With a broom and a dustpan.

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What's the difference between my ex girlfriend and ebola?

At least Ebola will finish me off

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend?

Auschwitz

What do silicon and my ex girlfriend have in common?

the resistance of both drop when doped.

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend?

The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

What did the blue crab call his ex girlfriend?

Old Bay

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Baltimore Jokes More Baltimore Jokes

What's black and loves to destroy Baltimore?

The Pittsburgh Steelers

What do you call your ex-girlfriend from Baltimore?

Old Bae

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, how did they get in there anyway?

How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?

A: He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How do you manage to stay in shape?

Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women?

Cos they're playas.

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What did the kangaroo say when her baby was missing?

Help! My pocket's been picked!

How about Epidural Anesthesia?

I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.

Dope Jokes More Dope Jokes

How do you plant dope?

Bury a blonde.

How do you know the fastest runners are all doping?

They're always rushin.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the kitty say when it ran for mayor??

Now, that was one politi-cat debate!

How do you make a black man run faster?

Give him a white man's wallet.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why do they like to watch Star Wars on the big screen on aircraft carriers?

They're all about force projection.

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why does it take so long for a pro-lifer to screw in a lightbulb?

They love to watch mistakes being made.

Why Should You Never Marry A Tennis Player?

Because love means nothing to them!