Failure Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

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What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster?

a failure!

What do you call a dead asian?

A failure

What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure?

A defetus

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

What should you call a polite friendly kind good looking monster?

A failure.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

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What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

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What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand?

He went to the second-hand shop.

How is November's election like the Alien vs Predator movie?

Whoever wins...we lose.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

What time is it?

I don't know... it keeps changing.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What does Korean food taste like?

Chinese food.

Why can't a Chinese couple get a white baby?

Because two wongs don't make a white

Stop Bereave Jokes More Stop Bereave Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

Milk Jokes More Milk Jokes

What country makes the most milk?

Nepal

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the hipsters die of dehydration?

They stayed away from the mainstream.

What happens when the Pope dies?

another one popes up.