Failure Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

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What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster?

a failure!

What do you call a dead asian?

A failure

What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure?

A defetus

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

What should you call a polite friendly kind good looking monster?

A failure.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did the table fan say to his boss when he couldn't get to work on time?

Ah-so-late!

What do you call a none in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile I'm not sorry (PS, if this is a repost, I'm sorry that I didn't see the first time it got posted 2 years ago. Please don't accuse me of reposting)

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but he has to manufacture it first.

What did the drunken Irishman say to the Chinese diplomat?

http://www.reddit.com/r/Youwritethepunchline/comments/2zg1zy/whatdidthedrunkenirishmansaytothechinese/

Band Jokes More Band Jokes

What do you call the retarded guy that follows the band around?

The Drummer

What band is a cow favorite?

Moody Blues

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

Why do neurologists think they're God?

Because they can turn any animal into a vegetable!

What do you call a fruit that is a vegetable?

A crippled homo.

Produce Jokes More Produce Jokes

What do you call it when the only cow on your dairy farm won't produce milk?

Utter despair.

Whats that when you keep moving constantly produces something white ?

Its toothbrush dear dirty minded people..

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why should you never hit people with violins?

Because violins is not the answer...

What did the Moderate Moslem say before hitting a guy for criticizing his religion?

It's alright, reddit'll say this had nothing to do Islam.

Burn Pizza Jokes More Burn Pizza Jokes

What do a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman have in common?

The guy didn't pull it out fast enough!

What do frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common?

An idiot who forgot to take it out earlier.

Udder Failure Jokes More Udder Failure Jokes

What do you call a cow that stopped producing milk?

An udder failure.

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk ?

An udder failure !