Failure Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

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What do you call a clean, good looking well behaved monster?

a failure!

What do you call a dead asian?

A failure

What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure?

A defetus

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

What should you call a polite friendly kind good looking monster?

A failure.

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

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Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

What do you call an old soldier who has been sprinkled in salt and pepper?

A seasoned veteran.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What happened when the pig ran into his ex?

there was a porkward silence

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

Stop Bereave Jokes More Stop Bereave Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

What song did Kim Jong Il request be played at his funeral?

Journey - Don't Stop Bereaving.

Frozen Beer Jokes More Frozen Beer Jokes

What do a burnt pizza, frozen beer, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone didn't pull it out in time.

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What are your expectations?

Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job Me : Salary

What's the difference between cancer and black people?

Cancer got Jobs.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you do to a chemist after they die?

You Barium

Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

To make them happy before they die.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow?

Chop chop.

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.