Film Jokes

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

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How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?

He heard the film had dogfighting scenes

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like?

a baaahhhd movie. ( )

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

Where does a cow go to watch a film?

The mooovies. pls tell to friends.

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. One, but it takes him fifty tries.

What do you call a gore thriller that can't get enough funding?

A film that needs morbids.

What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

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What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

What's a bridges favourite genre of film?

Suspense tion

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

Which fly makes films ?

Stephen Speilbug !

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

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Tissue Jokes More Tissue Jokes

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

Why did the tissue get up and dance?

It had a little boogy in it.

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

What do you get when you merge Revenge with Grey's Anatomy?

Graysonatomy.

Big Difference Jokes More Big Difference Jokes

What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the IRS and a baby?

It takes a lot more than a hammer to make the IRS shut up.

What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag?

Ones in a cup

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?

He was Bjorn again

What's the difference between a Mexican joke and a black joke?

Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the worst thing about being a transgender?

Having the women inside of you telling you what to do.

How do you know you are dating a women, not a girl?

A girl has no name.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why do they carry Marines around on Naval ships?

Because sheep would be too obvious.

How do you milk sheep?

A: With iPhone accessories.

2000 Jokes More 2000 Jokes

Why didnt Craig buy Anne Franks shoes on Ebay for 2000$ ?

They were Holo-costly

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."