Film Jokes

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

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How do you know a neighborhood is too ghetto to film in?

If most people leave before shooting starts.

Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?

He heard the film had dogfighting scenes

What did the mathematician say about vertical videos?

I'm sorry, but the video you filmed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like?

a baaahhhd movie. ( )

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

Where does a cow go to watch a film?

The mooovies. pls tell to friends.

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in and one to film it. One, but it takes him fifty tries.

What do you call a gore thriller that can't get enough funding?

A film that needs morbids.

What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?

Daeshcams

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What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema?

Miss most of the film!

What's a bridges favourite genre of film?

Suspense tion

What film do you get when you pull your pants down?

Free Willy

What do you call the place where parrots make films?

Pollywood!

What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?

Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.

Which fly makes films ?

Stephen Speilbug !

How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

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Lenin Jokes More Lenin Jokes

What does Lenin say when he his angry?

I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx.

What was Lenin's favourite film?

Tsar Wars episode III: Revenge of the scythe.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How do they separate the men from the boys in Athens?

With a crowbar.

How many men does it take to wallpaper a bathroom?

A. Three if you slice them very thinly.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why are European cars the lightest?

because there's no Americans sitting in them.

What are they called in America?

Americans.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did the girl loaf of stale bread slap the boy loaf of stale bread?

A: Because he tried to get fresh.

Why did Helen Keller try lsd?

Because she was told it makes you see things!

Dogfight Jokes More Dogfight Jokes

Why should you never dogfight mermaids?

They're masters in Arielle combat

Why did American football player Michael Vick want to see the film "Top Gun"?

He heard the film had dogfighting scenes

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What do guns and feminists have in common?

They are very loud when triggered.

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How did SkyMall go bankrupt?

I bought all my wife's birthday presents there before she left me.

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

Revenge Jokes More Revenge Jokes

What is a Muslim baby's first word?

Revenge!"

What does a bird say when it wants revenge?

Toucan play at that game!