Lenin Jokes

Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union?

They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.

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What does Lenin say when he his angry?

I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx.

What was Lenin's favourite film?

Tsar Wars episode III: Revenge of the scythe.

What do you call a red lemon?

a Lenin. )

What do you call it when Lenin, Trotsky, and Stalin get together for a drink?

A communist party

What are Russian clothes always made out of?

Lenin.

What score did Lenin get on his exam paper?

Full Marx

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Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations?

Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution..... (I'll show myself out)

What did the communist say at the beginning of the race?

On your Marx, get set, go!"

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What do you get if you play a C&W song backwards?

Your wife back, your house back, your car back, and your dog back.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?

Because he got hit by a car.

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By giving each other a taste of their own venison

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How do you swat one hundred flies at the same time?

Smack an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.

Whatr do you get when you have communist lemons?

LENIN-NADE. Just smack me.

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What do Russians use to censor websites?

The Inter-nyet.

What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!"

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How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

Why are you picking up rocks?

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When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?

hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."

What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.