Hoof Jokes

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose.

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Why does a cow have hooves but not feet?

Cause they lactose.

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

How do you hire a horse?

Put a brick under each hoof!

Why did the horse stir his cereal with his hoof?

Because he wanted to feel his oats!

What do you call a horse that plays the violin?

Fiddler on the hoof!

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Saint Patrick Jokes More Saint Patrick Jokes

What is the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

On Saint Patrick's Day everybody wants to be Irish.

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?

Tony

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Brick Jokes More Brick Jokes

What did one brick say to the other?

Guess who's gettin' laid tomorrow!

What's the difference between you and a brick?

Bricks can get laid.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?

Anything you want to - it can't here you!

Hoofs Jokes More Hoofs Jokes

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes

Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green?

It was Saint Patrick's Day.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why should Ray Charles be a psychologist?

Because he feels for everyone.

Why was the kamikaze pilot so depressed?

He felt his life was heading for a downward spiral.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why should we hire the chickpeas to be part of our choir?

They could hummus a song! (I was really proud of this one.)

Why does hiring a ship illegally always cost $3.14?

Because theyre pi rates.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why can't you play Uno with Mexicans?

They steal the green cards.

What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.