Toe Jokes

What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

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What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

What do you call a woman who does not have all her toes on one foot?

Normal

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

What is a vegetable's favorite martial art?

He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe.

What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis!

What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him?

Nana boo boo

What do you call someone who hates people without toes and can't have ice cream?

Lack-toes intolerant

What do you call a bee with a toe?

Toby"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe?

The Holocaust

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off?

NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!

What do you do when you stub your toe?

Call a toe truck.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Who has to always be on there toes?

A midget at a urinal.

What do I think about my toes?

They couldn't be further from my mind.

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!"

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

Toes go in first!

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes

How do you keep men on their toes?

Raise the urinals

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?

Tony

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What do you call man without toes?

What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk Lack-toes intolerant!!

What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?

What " " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."

Which toes?

She answers "My big toes".

What did a cell say to his sister cell, when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes?

Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car *Joaquin*

Why do ballet dancers always stand on their toes?

Could they not hire taller dancers

What did the goldsmith say when he stubbed his toe?

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?

A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Why are ballerinas so vigilant?

They are always kept on their toes.

Why do ballerinas stand on their toes?

Can't they just get taller women

What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny?

His lucky people's foot!

Why did the foot smile?

He was toe very happy. Jesus that is awful.

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What person strives to ensure safety for horses?

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IHOP

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What do you call someone who hates people without toes and can't have ice cream?

Lack-toes intolerant

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

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What do you call someone who sings about mints?

A "Minstrel".

What do you call mints you can spread through social media?

Memementos

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Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

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Why did the pigeon hate the crow?

because he was in the coo klux klan

Why does the farmer hate his job?

because he has a deep-seeded hatred for planting.

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What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?

1/6 G My 8 year old son came up with this one.

What does a French beaver call her home?

Madame

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Why do the elephants have short tails ?

Because they can't remember long stories !

Why do elephants prefer cars instead of motorcycles?

motorcycles don't have trunks

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican cholo and an ill tempered Irishman?

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What do you call a crazy Mexican dog?

Perronoid