Iraqi Jokes

What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

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How do you clear out an Iraqi bingo parlour?

Call out "B-52"

How many children does it take to change a light bulb in America?

About 1 thousand Iraqis.

What's the name of the Iraqi basketball team?

Alley-oop Akbar

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What is an Iraqi children on a playground doing?

He's distracting the sniper. Didn't want to offend.

How do you play Iraqi bingo?

F18...B52...F18

Why do Iraqi police officers walk in threes?

The first knows how to read the second knows how to write and the third is to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

What do Iraqi men do that gets them laid on the first date?

They give their women awesome Dinar.

What do you call an Iraqi bodybuilder?

A Mosul man

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

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What's the difference between an Iraqi elementary school, and an Isis hideout?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone.

How many Iraqis does it take to launch a Scud missile?

Two. One to launch it one to watch CNN to find out where it landed.

What's the fastest way to end an Iraqi bingo game?

A:Call B52

What's the difference between a slice of toast and an Iraqi..?

You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast

What did the Iraqi refugee say when he crossed the border?

Iran!

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Jerusalem Jokes More Jerusalem Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

American Jokes More American Jokes

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

They have the best schools for it.

Which American President was least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent.

Offend Jokes More Offend Jokes

Why were a bunch of realist artists offended at a Matisse gallery opening?

They didn't like the public displays of abstraction.

What gun does Jesus hate the most?

The nail gun. So sorry if this offends you Credit to the podcast

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What reads and lives in an apple ?

A bookworm !

What did Helen Keller say when she put down the cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read.

Akbar Jokes More Akbar Jokes

How do you get Akbar to shut up?

Muzzle'm.

What does a Muslim with allergies say?

Al-achoo Akbar.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What kind of people have the most beautiful eyes?

Beekeepers. Because beauty is in the eye of the beeholder.

Why are dogs always SENSITIVE?

Because they have tears in their eyes

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the emu say to the nurse?

A: Mend her bones or walk the plank

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here