Magic Jokes

What's the difference between a magic show and a brothel?

Ones a cunning array of stunts. . .

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What do you call a dog who can do magic?

A labracadabrador

Why isn't there a college in the world of Harry Potter?

Because even Magic can't pay your college Loan

What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?

Neck-romance-y.

What do you call an owl that does magic?

Hooooooo-dini!

What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?

A Juand

Why aren't there any black magicians?

Because magic is stupid.

How did David Copperfield get HIV?

From doing Magic.

What do you call an owl who does magic?

WHO-DINI

How can a thing be heavier than it is?

T: No-sees it's almost 3 pm Magic

What kind of magic do cows believe in?

MOODOO.

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Magic Johnson Jokes More Magic Johnson Jokes

How did Magic Johnson get Aids?

By using his Magic Johnson.

How did the cheerleader get magic AIDS?

A Magic Johnson.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a cello and a coffin?

A: The coffin has the corpse on the inside.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

Whats Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?

Walking... JK Rolling

What spell does harry Potter use on halloween?

Spoopify

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

Why did the police arrest the sidewalk sidewalk?

It always had some sort of weed on it!

Why do Zelda and Link smoke weed?

Because they live in the kingdom where the hyrule.

Disappear Jokes More Disappear Jokes

What do you call a disappearing President?

Hocus POTUS

Where are the posters?

WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! In other room *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

What 11 letter word does every Yale graduate spell incorrectly?

I n c o r r e c t l y

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?

NME (enemy).

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What is Jesus's go-to pickup line?

Would you like me to show you what it feels like to get nailed?

Why was Jesus such a bad carpenter?

He couldn't remove three nails to save his life

Strip Jokes More Strip Jokes

What do a chop shop and a desperate actress have in common?

They both strip for parts!

What's the difference between a magic show and a strip show?

A magic show is full of