Max Jokes

Why is Max always late?

hey guys be here at 8:15 pm, max 8:30"

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What do you call a man wearing two rain jackets?

Max

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

How does a blonde call for her dog?

She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts "Max!".

What does Max have now?

Diabetes.

What's worse than 9/11?

311 Credit goes to my friend Max.

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What happened to you?

the doctor asks. "I stepped on something."

Why don't they use Macs/iPads in hospitals?

Because using an Apple a day keeps the doctors away.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How are false teeth like stars?

They come out at night!

Why is the robot good at one night stands?

Because he nuts and bolts.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What did the physics professor shout when he disproved Hooke's Law in early to mid March?

Spring break!

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kind of overalls does Super Mario wear?

denim denim denim...

Why do midgets not wear tampons?

They might trip on the string.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

How do you stop an Armenian tank?

You shoot the guys pushing it.

How bad is my career?

I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"

Court Jokes More Court Jokes

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

What do most people wear to court?

Law-suits

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

What is a traitor?

A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it.

Why is the man only left with 30?

Credit to Bo Burnham.

Shop Jokes More Shop Jokes

What do you get if you cross a labrador and a tortoise ?

A dog that will run to the shop to get your paper and bring back last weeks paper !

Where can you leave your dog when you shop?

The barking lot.