Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you call a sentinel with three hands?

A watchman.

Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

Peel Jokes More Peel Jokes

Why did the man fall in love with the banana whilst on a London attraction?

Because it was a-peeling on the Eye.

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter

Crumb Jokes More Crumb Jokes

Why do you want to work here?

ME: *crumbs tumbling from my mouth* Oh, I don't. I was just walking by and saw you had donuts.

What did the biscuit say when it saw two friends knocked down?

Crumbs!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job?

He tried fighting fire with fire.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window.

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

How did the psychologist die?

He Freudian slipped.

What are the four fastest hands in the world?

when it slips out.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.