Pavement Jokes

What did the pavement smoother say after he lost his hands?

I literally can't even."

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When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building which one hits the pavement first?

A: Who cares!

What do you call the small amount of time between when you slip on a peel and when you hit the pavement?

A bananosecond

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

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Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?

A slipped disk.

Why did the nun always wear a slip?

Sheer habit.

Safety Jokes More Safety Jokes

What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

What does music have to do with safety?

If you don't C sharp, you'll B flat.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Why is a blonde like Australia?

A: They're both down under and no one cares.

Who took care of German army dogs after the war?

Veteran Aryans

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the Russian man keep making excuses?

He was just stalin for time

What time is it when you sit on a pin?

Spring time.

John Lennon Jokes More John Lennon Jokes

What was John Lennons final hit?

The pavement

What did John Lennon say when he got egg shells in his cake?

Yolko Oh-no

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Why are Taylor Swift's songs always a hit?

WARNING POKEMON JOKE) Because swift never misses.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

Because the bus hit him.

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records?

Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

Whats a statisticians favourite S Club 7 song?

Reach For The **Stats**.