Physics Jokes

What do you call it when a Physics Teacher throws a bar of chocolate at you?

Brownian Motion

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What's the difference between a degree in Theoretical Physics and a theoretical degree in Physics?

One is relevant and can get you a job. The other you went to university for.

Why don't biology and physics get on?

They lack chemistry.

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech?

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech? Give me a moment...ummmm.(momentum)

Why did the college student change his major from Biology to Physics after his first exam?

He needed to see if how fast his grade dropped broke any laws of physics.

What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry?

STUPID AMERICAN!

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics?

Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

Why do Physics and Biology teachers never get along?

Because they have no chemistry

Why is physics inherently racist?

There's only two types of bodies: the free body and the black body.

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?

Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.

Why did the hipster dislike physics?

Cause the system is broke, yo.

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How do women defy the laws of physics?

The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Julius Caesar ask when finding a color to paint the Senate?

Ecru, Brute "

Why dad?

he asks. Because my arm is getting tired

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why do redneck men enjoy Halloween so much?

They love to pump kin.

Why did the melon get married in a church?

Because he was in love with a cantaloupe.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

Why did the pig run away from the pig sty?

He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grunted.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Why did the acronym buff decide to go join the etymologists instead?

He heard they had PIE.

Speech Jokes More Speech Jokes

What do you call an Italian with one arm?

Speech impaired.

What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?

Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

What drives you?

Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning M: missing the bus

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Who's there/9-11/9-11 who?

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!

Math Joke Jokes More Math Joke Jokes

What's the opposite of quantum physics?

Logic. (If you don't like physics jokes, just keep movin') ...(if you don't like math jokes, trust me, sometimes it makes a difference).

What do you call a fallen tree in a forest?

Natural log. Sorry about the math joke.