Protest Jokes

How do you stop all the protests and riots?

Play the national anthem. They'll all sit down

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Why did Black Lives Matter arrange a protest on Coruscant?

because Mace Windu nuffin

How do you stop the protests in Charlotte?

Sing the nation anthem they will sit down

What do you call a bunch of liberals protesting the second amendment?

Triggered

Why do you always see beggars at protests?

They're always looking for some sort of change!

What do you call ten thousand pastors setting themselves on fire in protest of marriage equality?

A good start.

What was the bear protesting?

his right to human arms

How many leftists does it take to change a lightbulb?

8,000 to protest against the broken lightbulb but 0 to realize it won't change anything.

What do you call a group of black criminals?

A "protest" apparently.

What a crazy weekend! Me: *takes a knee* CW: What are you doing?

M: Protesting this conversation.

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

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Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?

He's not a fan of juvenile plots.

What'd Gandhi say when his friend told him to leave the protest?

Na 'ma ste

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What the hell is this REstraining Order?

I never even got a Straining Order I'm gonna go over to her house and sort this out.

Why aren't you charging me for the paint?

They said, "Don't worry about it, it's on the house."

Black Life Matter Jokes More Black Life Matter Jokes

Which news outlet has the most interesting Black Lives Matter coverage?

BBC

How many Black Lives Matters protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

Don't be silly, Black Lives Matters protesters can't change anything.

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Where do men with erectile dysfunction go to find a job?

Ubisoft

Why did the mathematician quit his job and join NASCAR?

They told him he was good at deriving

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What do you call a bunch of wealthy muslims?

Ballah ballah ballah ballah ballah

What's the difference between an all girls soccer team and a tribe of pygmies?

One is a bunch of cunning runts.

Riot Jokes More Riot Jokes

What's the plural of "Referendum"?

Riots.

Why do they call it a non-sequitur?

Riot gear.

Support Jokes More Support Jokes

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Why do brothels support Hillary?

Cause #FeelTheBern would be bad for business.

Black Life Jokes More Black Life Jokes

Why did Black Lives Matter arrange a protest on Coruscant?

because Mace Windu nuffin

What do the Police, the NFL and Black Lives Matter all have in common?

They all have the same PR guy.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why do strippers look better in the club than outside the club?

Black lights matter.

What happens when something travels faster than the speed of light?

Does it matter?