Regret Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an unwanted baby?

One's a rugrat, the other's a regret.

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What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

What do Harvard and a virgin have in common?

You try so hard to get in but 9 months later you regret you ever came.

How many Murdochs does it take to change a lightbulb?

They were unaware the lightbulb was an issue & regret unknowingly paying to change it

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY !

What's the difference ?

What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!

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Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why couldn't the pig run?

He pulled his hamstring!

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled behind a boat?

Skip

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is the most painful cereal known to man kind?

Banana Nut Crunch.

What do you call a man in the window?

INNUENDO!!!!!!!

Fungus Jokes More Fungus Jokes

Why don't people hang out with the mushroom?

He isn't a fungi.

What do you call a mushroom that picks up the bar tab?

A FUNGI to be with!

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

What did one alcoholic say to the other alcoholic?

I forget

Organism Jokes More Organism Jokes

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

Why did the scientist regret naming the organism "Fungus"?

Because after they hung out Gus was actually a pretty boring guy.

Issue Jokes More Issue Jokes

Why are women like magazines?

They have a lot of issues

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue."

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut.

What's up Dad Party!" dads go nuts "I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?

dads in unison DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What a glum face what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ?

Pupil: I'd be too polite to mention it !

What's the difference between a woman coming out of church and a woman taking a bath?

The woman coming out of church as hope in her soul!