Roman Soldier Jokes

What did the roman soldier say after crucifying Jesus?

Nailed it

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2nd Roman Soldier: XX past VII !

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Roman Jokes More Roman Jokes

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Why should you never high-five a Roman?

They might give you Hi-V back!

End Jokes More End Jokes

How many Brazilian national football players does it take to change a lightbulb?

No one knows - every time they pick one up, they end up giving it away.

Why can't pencils have babies?

Because they have rubbers on their end.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why aren't there any nails in a lesbian's floor?

A. They're all laid with tongue and groove.

What's the hardest part about making a manicure joke?

You really have to nail it

Crucify Jokes More Crucify Jokes

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha?

I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

How do you keep a blonde at home?

A. Build a circular driveway.

How does a penguin build it’s house?

Igloos it together.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

What version of windows does Jesus use?

XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)

Bend Jokes More Bend Jokes

What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bend over?

Doughnuts.

What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?

Dough-nuts (South Park reference again just spreading it).

Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

How much salt does Jihadi John have on his chips?

Just a Daesh.

How did the cynic die?

He died of liver failure. He took everything with a pinch of salt.