Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why don't women fart?

They can't shut up long enough to build up pressure.

What fried food will shut your neighbor's dogs up?

Hushpuppies.

Taylor Swift Jokes More Taylor Swift Jokes

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

What changes faster than technology?

Taylor Swifts boyfriend

Tailor Jokes More Tailor Jokes

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

How many redditors commenting on a given post does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Not possible. Their hands are too slippery with each other's ejaculate.

Why do redditors hate Ellen Pao as CEO?

It was the Wong choice

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between pokemon go and my girlfriend?

Pokemon go always goes down on me

What's the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino?

In a casino, you really mean it.

Jean Luc Picard Jokes More Jean Luc Picard Jokes

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard?

4 or 5.

Tailor Swift Jokes More Tailor Swift Jokes

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why was the Chinese Journey cover band a failure?

Their only hit was Don't Stop Bereaving.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus!