Silence Jokes

What is Sean Murray's favorite song ?

The sound of silence

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What do you call a Hispanic person holding a silenced weapon?

Puerto-RECON

What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

Why is your paper blank?

Teacher: Why is your paper blank? Student: Sometimes silence is the best answer ! :D :D

What's the difference between a gun and a wife?

You can silence a gun.

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

How do you silence an Italian?

Cut off his hands

What was the deaf mans favorite song?

The Sound of Silence.

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

How do you silence a group of women?

Bring out your camera.

What movie was made when Hannibal lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

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Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

What's your favourite onomatopoeic word?

Mine's "silence".

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Song Jokes More Song Jokes

Why did the music critic compare the song to a foul-mouthed mixture of sand and wind?

Because it was Da-rude Sandstorm

How easy is it to get a song stuck in your head?

It's only a weem away.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why don't women need to go to college?

Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

Lamb Jokes More Lamb Jokes

What kind of car does a rich shepherd drive?

A Lamb-orghini!

What do you call a rebellious teenager whose parents are a lamb and a moose?

A radical mooselamb

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

What's the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Deaf Man Jokes More Deaf Man Jokes

What do you call the deaf man with no limbs?

Whatever you want.

How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man?

pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland?

Because it's a Finnish hymn.

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What do you call a run-down and Italian neighborhood?

The Sphaghetto

What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel?

That's a moray!

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool

What did the poop said to the other poop?

Poop: Please don't push. It's already tight in here! Poop to Pee: May I go first? Meanwhile, Fart pushing everyone to the sides.. Fart: Excuse me! Excuse me! I need to go!