Sorry Mate Jokes

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen?

Sorry mate.

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Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

Why do Australians always win 4D chess?

Double check, mate

How does an Australian shave?

Rise up lights

Couple Jokes More Couple Jokes

What do you call a couple, who are both in wheelchairs?

A pair of polegics!

How much did Harambe drink in the bar?

Just a couple of shots

Old Joke Jokes More Old Joke Jokes

What is the oldest joke we have on record?

X-post) http://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/2krnv8/whatistheoldestjokewehaveonrecord/

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke

Prime Mate Jokes More Prime Mate Jokes

Why did the man marry a monkey?

Because he wanted a PRIME-MATE! sorry ...sorry twice if this is an old joke

What did the boy monkey say to the girl monkey?

You're a prime mate!

M Jokes More M Jokes

What starts with an 'M', ends with 'arriage', and recently made me the happiest man alive?

Miscarriage

How'd family dinner go?

ME: Huge mess to clean. F: It's spotless! M: *sprays luminol* You'd never know they were even here.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What' chu want fam?

The Vietnamese person replies, "How do you know my name "

What is the last thing you want to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson' Credit: old joke via: Norm Macdonald

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others the Pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

A: surname

When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the elephant say to the man?

Cute, but how do you pick up peanuts with it?

What do you call it when a man is given an order to take another man out lunch?

A MANDATE