Spanish Jokes

What do you call an old Spanish car?

FeO

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What's the Spanish equivalent of the devil's lettuce ?

El Diablow

What's the number ten's favorite Spanish phrase?

Diez mio!

What did the Spanish Gorilla say at lunch time?

Yo tengo Harambe.

How do Chinese people say "hello" in Spanish?

Hola.

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

What is the most Spanish body part?

Elbow.

What kind of dog should you get a spanish speaker?

A spaniel.

What happens to a girl with anxiety when she sees a Spanish person?

She has a hispanic attack

What do you call a Spanish matador who is not very good at his job?

I'd say he's fairly incapa .

What do you call a group of Spanish-speaking moms who band together to protect their neighborhood?

Super Barrio Mothers

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What did the Spanish cannibals have for dinner?

JOHN CENA!! I'm sorry.

What do you call it when a Spanish man goes to court for custody of his children?

Fight for your right to padre

How do you spell "Pringles" in Spanish?

Pringls

What is the best spanish joke you've ever heard?

I couldnt find the spanish section of reddit

What did the spanish fireman name his 2 sons?

Jose and Hose B

What do you call four drowning spanish teachers?

Cuatro sinko. )

What did the spanish teacher say to his one student, who was a member of the cartel?

Where is my essay?

What do you call a spanish child molester?

A pdrophile

How many times should you check whether a sentence is written in English or Spanish?

Once.

How do you say dinner in spanish?

JOHN CENA

What do you call a little spanish girl that searches for Redditors?

Fedora the explorer.

What does a Spanish dog say at the marina?

Bark-o.

What is the biggest plot twist in spanish soap operas?

When Rodrigo finds out he is his own mother

What language do British wrenches speech?

Spanish!

How do you pick up older Spanish women?

Hola Seniority

How do you convert Spanish programming into English?

Yes++

Which Spanish superhero has three wives?

Amor-Man

What do you call a banana you want tomorrow in spanish?

Baana

What do you call a group of confused Spanish speaking racists?

The Qu Qu Qu?

What do you call a Spanish man with a rubber toe?

Robeerto.

What do you call a Spanish baker?

A con-quiche-ador

Why was the Spanish train the primary suspect?

It had locomotive. (I'm not sorry)

Why does the spanish dude keep walking left?

Because izquierda going right.

What do u call a spanish man with a rubber toe?

Roberto

Why does the dyslexic Spanish speaker have a poor self image?

His chemistry teacher told him he was mostly made of cabron.

What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say?

I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!

How do you say Tony Romo in Spanish?

Mark Sanchez.

How do you say doormat in Spanish?

Matador

What sport is played in Spanish churches?

La Cross

What did the guy with 6 children say to the guy with six felonies?

I don't know they were speaking Spanish.

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

What did the Spanish musician say when he went fishing?

Castanets!

What does a Spanish cow say?

Muuuuuuuey!

How many Spanish people does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan.

What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?

Jose and Hoseb

What do you call s'mores in Spanish?

S'mas

What does a Spanish speaking ghost say when they like you?

Mi Ghosta!!

What do you call a bird that speaks Spanish?

A Si-gull

What do you call an ugly Spanish chemist?

Iron Oxide

What is a Spanish person without a car called?

Carlos

What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.

Why shouldn't Spanish women smoke cigarettes?

You shouldn't smoke if your pregnant.

What did the spanish soccer announcer invest in?

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD**

What different about an American Christmas from a Spanish one?

Noel.

What does a spanish programmer program in?

Si++

What do you call a Spanish midget?

A paragraph. Because he's not a full essay.

What do Spanish Canadians put on their tacos?

Pork, eh

What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes?

Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car *Joaquin*

Why did the Spanish train aficionado blow up his trains?

He had loco motives.

What are some really stupid jokes?

One I know is this: Spanish teacher: Kids, what is the ellos/ellas form of the verb sacar Students: Sacan Spanish teacher: SACAN DEEZ NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women?

Cos they're playas.

What did the Spanish farmer say to his chickens?

A: Oh-lay!

What do you call a little pepper in Spanish?

A jalapequeno

How do you say unicorn in Spanish?

Unamaize

Why do Spanish tests take so long?

Because of all the ese questions.

What did the Spanish firefighter name his twin sons?

Jose and Hose B

Why do Spanish men get half price movie tickets?

They take the senor discount.

Why did the spanish man's boat sink?

Ola

How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish?

Adidos!

How do you spell "nose" is Spanish?

nose

How do you spell socks in Spanish?

Eso si que es.

What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

What did the Spanish guidance counselor tell his students?

You have to have gooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllssssssssss!!!!!

What is it called when a spanish man has 10 testicles?

Diez nuts!

What do you call a Spanish man who has just got out of hospital?

Manuel...

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Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How do you feel when your phone suddenly starts blaring your least favorite tune?

Alarmed.

Why did the dog feel insecure in her bathing suit?

She was a little husky.

Joaquin Jokes More Joaquin Jokes

What does Joaquin Phoenix say when a car almost hits him?

Hey! I'm Joaquin here!

What kind of name is Joaquin?

It's not Russian

Language Jokes More Language Jokes

What language do birds speak ?

Pigeon English !

What language do the Vatican Police speak?

Pig Latin!

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What's the best time of day?

The Spanish Inquisition. . . . . . Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Who remembers the 2016 presidential race?

Nobody expected that late run from Gonzalez, did they?

Student Jokes More Student Jokes

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?

Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What was the last thing that went through the Sandy Hook child's mind?

A bullet. I apologize if that joke was aimed for a younger audience. I love Sandy Hook jokes, they never get old. Just like those children.

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

What did the pirate say after he pulled a steering wheel out of his pants?

It's driving me nuts!"