Walter White Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

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What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke?

Nothing, because he is the one who knocks.

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?

Because HE is the one who knocks.

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.

What did Walter White teach?

Advanced methematics.

What is Walter White's favourite band?

Well it's not Saving Jane, that's for sure.

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Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie?

White privilege

What do "white privilege" and "severely mentally handicapped" have in common?

Both terms are almost universally misunderstood by the people to whom they apply.

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Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July !

Why doesn't 'Murica have any knock-knock jokes?

Because Freedom Rings!

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How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

How do you know?

My phone is turned off.

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Why Mathematics make you a Terrorist?

Because they teach what is the history of Al Gebra.

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

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What do Romans use to cut their pizza?

Little Caesars.

What do people and pizza have in common?

If they're black, they can't feed a family.

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How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?

With dog diskettes!

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?

On a piece rate.

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What did the Mexican... What did the Mexican man order at the country musician themed restaurant?

A Reba!

What did the Terminator say when he was invited to a music themed fancy dress party?

I'll be Bach.

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Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie?

White privilege

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.