Walter White Jokes

What is Walter White's favourite brand of ketchup?

Heinz-enburg.

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What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What do you get when you cast Michael J. Fox as Walter White?

Shaking Bad.

What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke?

Nothing, because he is the one who knocks.

Why did Walter White not pay for his pizza?

Because it was on the house.

Why can't you tell Walter White a knock knock joke?

Because HE is the one who knocks.

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.

What did Walter White teach?

Advanced methematics.

What is Walter White's favourite band?

Well it's not Saving Jane, that's for sure.

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Jessie Jokes More Jessie Jokes

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

Why does Walter get to keep more of the drug money than Jessie?

White privilege

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport?

Terminal velocity.

What would you say are your strengths?

Me: Words Him: Can you say more Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions

Ketchup Jokes More Ketchup Jokes

What did the bun say to the hot dog?

I relish the fact that you've mustard the will to ketchup to me!

Why is PC the mustard race?

Because consoles can't ketchup.

Theme Jokes More Theme Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when invited to the musician themed costume party?

I'll be Bach

What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?

A: Turn off the carousel.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What's the difference between necrophilia and a pizza?

Even if it is cold it's still good.

What kind of pizzas did Al Qaeda deliver to the World Trade Center?

Two large plains.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the lady tell her doctor she had breast cancer?

Because she wanted to get it off her chest.

How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest?

You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose. :/

Knock Knock Joke Jokes More Knock Knock Joke Jokes

Why aren't there any 'Knock, Knock' jokes about America?

Cuz freedom rings, baby!

What does Walter White say when he tells a knock-knock joke?

I am the one who Knock-knocks.