How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why were India kicked out of the Soccer world Cup held in England in 1966 ?

A. Every time they were given a corner, they built a shop."

What happened when the barman died?

The police held an inn-quest

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.

What the hell are you two doing?

He demanded. His wife turned to the stranger and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."

House Jokes More House Jokes

Want to hear a chimney joke?

Got stacks of em! First one's on the house

What does a fern have in its house?

Fern-iture

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

Why does Bernie Sanders hate icebergs?

Because only the top 1% can stay above water.

Why does Bernie Sanders only drink skim milk?

He can't stand the 1%

1000 Jokes More 1000 Jokes

How do you get 1000 dead babies into the bed of a pickup truck?

A blender! How do you get them out? Nacho chips!

What do you call a black guy surrounded by 1000 white people?

Mr.President

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors?

Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

Why are your nails painted two different colors?

Daughter: Dad. It's an accent color. Dad: ... Dad: Can I hear it

Brush Jokes More Brush Jokes

What do you call thrusting a hairy rod in and out of your mouth really fast then afterwards spitting out a white liquid?

Brushing your teeth

What do read heads get when they don't brush their teeth?

Gingervitis Edit: redheads. I am a disgrace.

Pollock Jokes More Pollock Jokes

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock?

Ricky Retardo