What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

My ears are burning!"

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

What happened when the owl lost his voice ?

He didn't give a hoot !

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why can't the man take his job seriously?

Because he's a clown! Buh bum tis

How Does a Woman Make a Man a Millionaire?

When he's a billionaire.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's a gangsta say when a house falls on him?

Get off me, homes!

How did Reddit not fell down yet?

I mean, it is only hanging by threads...

House Jokes More House Jokes

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?

Use LED based paint.

How did I get here?

I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.

Ash Jokes More Ash Jokes

What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff?

Pikachu, that's all he can say.

What did 1 volcano say to another volcano?

That ash.

Wooden Leg Jokes More Wooden Leg Jokes

What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?

Shiver me timbers!

What goes 99-clonk 99-clonk 99-clonk ?

A centipede with a wooden leg !