Abe Lincoln Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?"

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed ?!?!?"

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

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Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What is the hardest part about firing a black man?

Waiting for him to show up.

How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. They stick the bulb in the socket and wait for the world to revolve around them!

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

How much did the critic tip the waiter?

Two cents

Why do people throw coins into foutains?

Why do people throw coins into fountains? I don't know, doesn't make any cents.

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

What did you say?

Me: Judge Did you just reverse my sentence *Stage dives into cheering jury*

What do you call a judge with no thumbs?

Justice Fingers!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did Hillary have for lunch the other day?

Little Seizures

What's the most problematic time of day?

4:04

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why should you bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

Why are law students known for drinking?

They are getting ready for the Bar exam.

Free Jokes More Free Jokes

How did the 3 legged frog get across the 4 lane freeway?

Take the F out of Free, and the F out of way and you'll have your answer.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a three day drinking binge?

Wait I freed ?!?!?"

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

Why was the cookie monster arrested for computer hacking?

He was in possession of all the "COOKIES"

Why did the demon get arrested?

Posession

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

Why did the clam go to jail?

For setting up illegal shell companies!

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

because they are set in the future.