Accuse Jokes

What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken?

It staged a coup

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you call a none in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile I'm not sorry (PS, if this is a repost, I'm sorry that I didn't see the first time it got posted 2 years ago. Please don't accuse me of reposting)

What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!"

What crime is he accused of?

Vesicular Basalt

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck?

deleted

What did the walking staff say when accused of misleading sheep?

I am not a crook!"

What do you call a wrongly accused art thief?

Framed

What did the farmer say when the police found the gate from the public footpath in his barn and accused him of stealing?

That's not my stile.

Whats the difference between Zoidburg and Snowden?

both accused of treason for expressing their freedom but Zoidburg didn't get his marshmallows!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?

Because he'd D graded her.

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign?

It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

Why did the robot get detention?

Because he was accused of Boolean.

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

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Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas?

Tarrif-ied.

Repost Jokes More Repost Jokes

How many redditors does it take to make a good joke?

Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost.

How do you disappoint a redditor?

Repost

Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why didn't Sug Knight talk to the police?

Because the g is silent

What did the police say to the hot dog?

You are under arrest.

Ps Jokes More Ps Jokes

What did the one explorer say to the other when they arrived in Northern Canada?

Eh, you take this one. I don't want Nunavut. PS: I realize it's a double negative.

What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness

Piracy Jokes More Piracy Jokes

What's the difference between PirateBay and 9/11?

One is piracy and the other is CONSpiracy

What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

Sean Connery Jokes More Sean Connery Jokes

Where does Sean Connery sit?

In the toilet.

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What do elephants use for tampons?

Sheep. Why do elephants have trunks? Sheep don't have strings.

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

Why is the topmost floor the best place to drink in?

That's how you set the bar high.