Delay Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game?

They needed to give their characters an eye-patch.

Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport?

he was on a watch list...

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

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Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!! XD

What do you call the queue of Software Engineers standing outside Heaven ?

The Y2K deadline !

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Who wants to get enraged and go persecute Christians?

No one.

Pilot Jokes More Pilot Jokes

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

Victim Jokes More Victim Jokes

What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk?

You're gonna be pooped after this.

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

Eye Patch Jokes More Eye Patch Jokes

What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches?

Because they're pirots!

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch?

Names.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's better: A Parachute Jump or a BJ of a 90 year old?

doesn't matter... must not look down..

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

Fast Way Jokes More Fast Way Jokes

What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway?

Through the windshield

Whats the fastest way to cut down a tree?

Suh Dude

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's that coffee drink with icecream?

I used to know it, but... Affogato.

Why use 2 A's in the name Aaron?

Why not 17 What's stopping us