Delay Jokes

Why was the naturists wedding delayed?

The ring bearer had an erection.

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Why did the developers have to delay their pirate game?

They needed to give their characters an eye-patch.

Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport?

he was on a watch list...

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to split a photon?

A lightsabre

What is the craziest/weirdest/most interesting/most unique/ uncommon phrase you've ever heard ?

I am working on a project, and its going to revolve around a phrase. I need it to be really out there, yet could be used in everyday life. But honestly just give me anything you got.

Polish Jokes More Polish Jokes

How do you stop a Polish battletank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

What's delaying the Polish space program?

A: Development of a working match.

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

What do you call in-flight pilot training?

Air conditioning.

Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia?

Because he was Snowden.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What did Helen Keller say when she won the lottery?

uunnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg!

Who's winning Went to visit my Granddad. He was watching a basketball game. "What's the score Gramps?

92 to 86." "Who's winning " I asked. "92"

Character Jokes More Character Jokes

Why is George R.R. Martin really bad at using Twitter?

There's a limit to how many characters you are allowed to waste.

Why do rpg characters like potions so much?

Because they're always the life of the party!

Issue Jokes More Issue Jokes

What kind of a shoe has a problem?

An issue.

What happened when Honey Boo Boo's mom lost 120 pounds?

An amber alert was issued

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the engineer put a clock under his desk?

A: He wanted to work overtime.

What do you call a Scotsman who works in a cloakroom?

Angus McCoatup

Dismay Jokes More Dismay Jokes

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

What did the Calendar say to the Wall-clock the moment it became June 1st?

I am dismayed!"