Draft Jokes

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

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Why do writers always feel cold?

Because they are surrounded by drafts!

Why did the beer get bottled?

He was trying to dodge the draft.

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts

Why doesn't Bill like old houses?

A: He's afraid of the draft.

Why is there a draft?

Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

Why did the Gorilla enlist in the ragged continental army?

To avoid the draft!

When is the NFL going to start drafting players with mental handicaps?

Have you ever seen a video of them getting the ball and not scoring a touchdown

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why are pigs such early risers?

Did you ever try to shut off a rooster

What happens when Peter Pan tries to throws punches?

They Neverland.

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

your boat, gently down the stream...

What do you call a mollusk on a boat?

A snailor

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

What can a yakuza do for living when he doesn't want to hurt people?

tattoo master

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What do you call two black guys on a bike?

Organized crime

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

Nba Jokes More Nba Jokes

What do you call a bunch of white dudes sitting on a bench?

The NBA

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

What are 3 naked woman on a crate of beer?

In the way!

Writer Jokes More Writer Jokes

What's the difference between hiring a team to write your jokes, and the team of joke writers itself?

One's a cunning plan, the others a punning clan.

What's the difference between a park bench and a writer?

A park bench can support a family.

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.