Good Dad Jokes

Why don't airplanes make good dads?

They are always taking off.

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Why was the storm trooper such a good dad?

He could never hit his kids.

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Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

How many white people does it take to replace a light bulb?

One to hold the bulb, and the rest to screw the whole world.

How do you keep a ghoul from biting his nails?

A: Replace the nails with screws.

Good Start Jokes More Good Start Jokes

What do you call 100 drowning vegans?

A good start

What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why do women have legs for?

To not leave a snail trail behind them.

What is the difference between a "Battery" and a woman?

ANSWER: A battery has a positive side.

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What does Chris Brown tell his friends when he sees Rihanna at a party?

I hit that.

What did the dog say to the other dog at the party?

Raise the woof!

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui"

When I'm dead, I'm going to haunt offices and say, "OooOoo... why are you using your mouse?

hit Control-C... you're taking forever..."

Ocean Jokes More Ocean Jokes

Why was the ocean so cranky?

You'd be cranky too if you had crabs on your bottom.

How do animals cross the ocean?

On a Gir-raft.

God Jokes More God Jokes

How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

Storm Jokes More Storm Jokes

Why do they call them thunder storms and not lightning storms?

Thunder storms just *sound* better

What is the rain's favorite medieval reenactment?

Storming a castle.