Height Jokes

What do you call a bird that's afraid of heights?

A chicken

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What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

What do you call an Ape that's afraid of heights?

A chimp-pansy. This is my go to primatology joke.

Why do Apes like tall buildings?

They want to climb the heights of the business world!

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?

A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

What is the height of honesty?

A: A pregnant lady takes one and a half ticket in the bus Q: What is the height of dishonesty A: She gives birth to twins

Why did the the acrophobe pothead start screaming?

She's afraid of heights.

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Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What kind of pizza would the twin towers order?

Two plains.

What do you call a pizza who's a DJ?

DJ Beazza Yes it's a stupid pun, but that's a good 50% of my humor, the other half being sarcasm.

Shore Jokes More Shore Jokes

What did the ocean say to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

Why be it that land-lubbers are never confident?

For they are always on shore...

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Where's the dog?

flashback to me giving him the keys to the car to get more beer* ME: I let him outside.

What's the one thing a hoarder has no trouble letting go of?

Their mind

Ottoman Empire Jokes More Ottoman Empire Jokes

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

What's the difference between the inverse of sec(o) and the smallest region in the former Ottoman Empire?

One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

How did the road break its ankles?

The chicken crossed it.

Why did the chicken cross the road with a knife?

Because it saw Lena Dunham on the other side.

Peter Jokes More Peter Jokes

What did Peter rabbit say to his girlfriend when they broke up?

Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."

Who were the shortest people in the Bible?

Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, "Silver andgold I have none," and no one could be much shorter than that.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

How do you think I feel?

I have to walk home alone"

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why didn't the scarecrow want dessert?

Because he was stuffed!

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.