Israeli Jokes

What did the Israelite say to the american when offering him a drink?

Here, try this, Israeli refreshing!"

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How does Moses make his tea?

Hebrews it. I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it!

What do you call the Israeli PM when he switches search engines?

Benjamin Netangoogle

How do Israeli skiiers greet each other?

Shlalom! (Oy, that's terrible.)

What did the drunkard say when he walked into an Israeli bar?

Hebrews?

What did the Germans name the Israeli Submarine?

Das Jude

Why does it take so long to play Israeli sports?

Because all the replays are in shlomo.

What do you call an Israeli rooster?

A koke.

What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?

A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

What did the Israeli Prime Minister who can't say the word "and" say about candy that caused such a hubbub?

Mike Ike's are my least favorite.

What's an Israeli ghetto called?

Palestine.

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What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut?

Menachem Vegan

What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can reason with the terrorist!

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Palestine Jokes More Palestine Jokes

What does Pluto have up on Palestine?

At least Pluto exists

Why are computers in Palestine really fast?

Because they've got Ramallah.

Candy Jokes More Candy Jokes

How are music and candy similar?

We throw away the rappers.

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

Because it doesn't taste as good if I stuff it in my ears."

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y

Why does America spell some words differently?

They said "We can do it without u, Britain."

Stone Jokes More Stone Jokes

What do Lena Dunham & ISIS have in common ?

They both love stoning women.

What's the difference between smoking weed and burning the koran?

If you burn the koran, you can only get stoned once.

West Bank Jokes More West Bank Jokes

Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?

A: They go over to the West Bank & the Gaza Strip and get stoned.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What do you call an empty bud light can on the side of the road?

A native American artifact. What do you call a HALF-EMPTY bud light can on the side of the road? An extremely rare native American artifact.

What side of the American flag are the stars on?

Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What else?

You've walked out of wife"

How to be part of a joke?

One must simply walk into a bar

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout ?

Monkfish !

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ?

A cat-a-logue !