James Bond Jokes

What would happen if James Bond took Viagra?

He would continue to be a state-sponsored terrorist whose actions disgrace us all.

This joke may have profanity.

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Who is James Bond's favorite bartender?

Michael J Fox

Why did James Bond higher a man with Parkinson's to be his butler?

He likes his drinks shaken, not stirred.

Why does James Bond like Michael J Fox?

Because he always gets his martini shaken, not stirred.

How does the modern-day James Bond prefer his women?

Shaven, not furred

Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox?

He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini.

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

What do you call James Bond in the bathtub?

Bubble-0-7

What does James Bond say after a heavy workout?

I would like to have Whey. Shaken, not stirred.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why is James Bond a terrible motivational speaker?

Because the audiences are shaken, not stirred.

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How does James Bond type e-mails?

With his goldfinger.

What type of car does James Bond drive?

00-Sedan

What is James Bond's favourite drug?

Viagra, so he can Roger Moore.

This joke may have profanity.

How does James Bond sleep?

Around.

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Martini Jokes More Martini Jokes

What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it?

It hurts, but olive.

How does Michael J Fox take his martinis?

Shaken. Not stirred

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

Butler Jokes More Butler Jokes

What do you call a butler with a new set of teeth?

An endentured servant

What do you call a well respected slave?

A butler.

' Real Jokes More ' Real Jokes

What is Victoria's Secret?

Her' real name is Victor!

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Stir Jokes More Stir Jokes

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

Why are hula dancers so pretentious?

Because their hips stir.

Michael J. Fox Jokes More Michael J. Fox Jokes

Who is James Bond's favorite bartender?

Michael J Fox

How does Michael J Fox take his martinis?

Shaken. Not stirred

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay?

WATERBOARDING!!!

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What types of jokes grow on you?

They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.

What type of car does a dinosaur drive?

a priustoric!