July Jokes

Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America?

Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July !

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What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?

Hillary.

What does a pirate light on the Fourth of July?

A m80.

How do you stop a dog from barking in July?

Shoot him in June.

When is a rabbi dishonest?

July

What's brown, sticky and runs down your leg?

Chocolate Ice Cream in July!

What's the difference between the United States and a yogurt?

That after 200 years, a yogurt can actually build a community. Haha, happy late 4th of July.

What does CNN call back-to-back aviation disasters?

Christmas in July

What's a holocaust denier's favorite month?

July

What do the 12th of July and the end of an essay have in common?

They're both summary!

Why did the hipster complain about winter in July?

He wanted to do it before it was cool.

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What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

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Essay Jokes More Essay Jokes

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

What do Mexicans write in school?

Essays.

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

How long does it take for a black woman to poop?

Nine months.

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

200 Year Jokes More 200 Year Jokes

What's the difference between America and a yogurt?

After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture.

What's the difference between the United States and some yoghurt?

After 200 years, the Yoghurt develops a culture.

January 2nd Jokes More January 2nd Jokes

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

How many seconds are in a year?

12. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd.... etc

Moustache Jokes More Moustache Jokes

How do you tell the difference?

I told him "It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..." "..and Derek has a moustache"

Why do women like men with moustaches?

Because they immediately see something about you they can change.

Fbi Agent Jokes More Fbi Agent Jokes

What do FBI agents grill for the 4th of July?

Hillary.

Why will the artist formerly know as Prince only hire former FBI agents as his house maids?

Because they must be able to "dust for Prince" I'll see myself out now

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why did the dog jump into the sea?

He wanted to chase the catfish!

What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?

A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!