Lap Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

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Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Why did the football team sack the hairy goalkeeper?

Because he rarely shaved the balls.

What hurts more giving birth or being kicked in the balls?

A women will normally want more children after a year or two. No man has ever wanted another kick in the balls. Case closed.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?

Because the pedals fell off.

What is the formula for water ?

George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you George: Sure you said H to O !

Athlete Jokes More Athlete Jokes

What do they call a list of athletes in Jamaica?

A rasta.

Why do athletes like Sports Illustrated Magazine so much?

There's nothing athletes want more to see in a magazine than sports and illustrations.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

What did the zero say to the eight?

Nice belt.

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

What do you call a nun using katana?

Nunja.

How many women fits in a monk monastery?

Nun.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What did the recent KKK hit-and-run victim order at Starbucks?

A flat white.

What happened when the pig ran into his ex?

there was a porkward silence

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How would you define yourself?

ME: *don't let her know you're a delicious chocolate cake* Moist

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

the guy likes his power chords too much.

World Jokes More World Jokes

What's the only thing in the world that's bigger than a Samoan man?

His wife.

Why did god invent whiskey?

x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world