Lima Bean Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?

I've never paid to have a lima bean on my chest.

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What do you get when you cross a lima bean with a Soviet?

A Lenintil...

What do you call a deceptive legume?

A Lima bean

Whats the difference between a chickpea and a lima bean?

I've never had a lima bean on my face.

What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a lima bean on my chest

What's the difference between a Lima Bean and a Chick Pea?

I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.

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Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian?

Cuz they got tired of Stalin.

What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

Buck Jokes More Buck Jokes

What's the difference between Beernuts and Deernuts?

Beernuts are $8.95 and Deernuts are under a buck!

What do the lady reindeer do on Christmas eve?

They hit the town and blow a few bucks.

Chickpea Jokes More Chickpea Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garabonzo bean?

I don't have a garabonzo bean in my garage because that's where I get pee'd on so there is tarps everywhere.

What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch?

I ate so many chickpeas, now I falafel.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the fallen child cross the road?

Believing that one day, the chicken will cross the road, it fills you with determination.

What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee?

A humdinger.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What's the difference between a PC gamer and a console player?

One spends 400 dollars on a console that will play games for years, the other pays 400 dollars for a graphics card that will be outdated in a week

Why couldn't Christopher Reeve pay his landlord?

Back rent.

Chick Pea Jokes More Chick Pea Jokes

What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What's the difference between a Lima Bean and a Chick Pea?

I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a lesbian and a straight girl?

Four drinks.

What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver?

The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

Why don't chickens wear underwear?

Because their peckers are on their faces.