Mash Potato Jokes

Why did the chicken give the cat his mashed potatoes?

To get to the other side.

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What do you call a wrecked Irishman?

A mashed potato.

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?

If it ends up on your wall, you're probably retarded.

What's white, lumpy, and extremely dangerous?

Shark infested mashed potatoes.

What did the potato ask the cow?

Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer use a steam roller?

He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.

Why did the farmer run through his fields with a steamroller?

Because he wanted mashed potatoes!!!!

Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden?

We're raising mashed potatoes.

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

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Whats yellow and dangerous?

Shark infested custard

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

When pigs get a toothache who do they see?

Painless Porker.

What do you call pigs in a demolition derby?

Crashing boars.

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all night?

Patio Furniture

How many potatoes does it take to starve an Irish man?

None

Nod Jokes More Nod Jokes

What are you wearing?

ME: *nodding and sniffing myself* Mashed potatoes with gravy.

How'd you get a black eye?

Walked into a door. Later, another shiner More doors *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.

Chase Jokes More Chase Jokes

What do you call 500 old white guys chasing a black man with clubs?

The PGA tour.

Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one?

Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of music do sponges listen to?

Raggaeneration.

What kind of trophy do I get every time I lift weights?

Hypertrophy!

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What do you call a cow that can't make milk?

An udder failure!

Where do cows go to hang out?

The slaughterhouse. Emphasis on **hang**.

Wreck Jokes More Wreck Jokes

What's black, and breaks into houses?

A wrecking ball

What do you get when a short bus gets in a wreck?

Mashed potatoes.